Real Internauts ...
  • Real Internauts don't eat quiche ... quiche isn't delivered to your front door (except maybe in San Francisco...).

  • Real Internauts type in HTML character by character using TECO or edlin ... none of those sissy preformatted page making programs ...

  • Real Internauts post via NNTP ... They can type full headers by memory ...

  • Real Internauts e-mail via SMTP ... Who needs those dumb e-mail programs ...

  • If a Real Internaut were to IRC they would telnet ... but they don't IRC because that is just like one of those "Forums".

  • Real Internauts use any neat HTML tag sets they find ... whether they are part of the standard or not ...

  • Real Internauts steal cool HTML tricks ... variety is the spice of life.

  • Real Internauts can type in a 2 line cryptic command, but they cannot spell the word "their" correctly.

  • Put 387 character commands into Search Engines and *STILL* get 38,000 hits!

  • Real Internauts use vi ... none of those sissy IDEs with autocomplete and syntax highlighting ... the editor should not know more than the programmer.

  • Real Internauts don't need AI to write their code ... they type it in hex and the compiler should be grateful.

  • Real Internauts remember when Google was a search engine, not a surveillance apparatus with a search box attached.

  • Real Internauts still have their Usenet posts archived in DejaNews ... oh wait, Google ate that too.

  • Real Internauts implemented IPv6 in 1998 and have been waiting for everyone else to catch up ever since.

  • Real Internauts don't need a password manager ... they remember all 47 of their passwords. They are all "password1". Except the important ones. Those are "password2".

  • Real Internauts don't use the Cloud ... they have five 22TB drives in a storage pool and a UPS that could survive a nuclear event.

  • Real Internauts know what Room 641A is ... and knew about it in 2002.

  • Real Internauts don't update their printer firmware ... ever.

    Rev 20030706 (original) / 20260319 (updated)
    Please send additions / deletions and corrections to

    Just because you are paranoid doesn't mean that they aren't out to get you :-)
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