Really True Truths

By Ron Davis

August 2021 BMW Owners News magazine

1. All motorcyclists will have at some time noticed that his or her turn signal has been on for the last five miles.
2. All stock seats suck.
3. That tickle you feel under your helmet? Yes, that's a spider.
4. Attempting to explain "desmodromic" is never a good idea at a cocktail party.
5. Coffee will always taste better around a campfire, a beer will always taste better after a 350 mile day.
6. It will rain. It will be cold. It will be hot. It may even snow. However, you will often meet the nicest people while sheltering under an overpass, at a convenience store or at a wayside.
7. It may take years to find a riding buddy who likes the same pace you do.
8. No matter how many bikes or how many other brands are in the parking lot, BMWs will always get respect.
9. No one has ever removed and then re-installed fairings and all the other plastic bits without discovering a bolt or screw left over.
10. During four out of five stops for gas you will be approached by someone who will ask how you like your bike, where you are headed, etc., then tell you about their personal history with motorcycles. It will not be an unpleasant conversation.
11. No, that driver doesn't see you.

12. You will drop your bike.
13. Somehow, taxes, title, prep, license, insurance and accessory costs never seem to come up when discussing the purchase of a new bike with your spouse.
14. When you walk into work and it's ten degrees below outside, invariably someone will ask, "Ride the bike today?" (Thank you, Andy Goldfine)
15. There are roughly 2,110 interpretations of the rules governing roundabouts.
16. There is no such thing as a "universal motorcycle."
17. Without fail, sometime, somewhere there will be a washout of sand, gravel or manure awaiting you just over the crest of the next hill.
18. It's probably best to avoid using Jon Delvecchio's phrase "kissing the mirror" around those who haven't read his book.
19. Two motorcycles are always better than one, three better than two, etc.
20. You will only miss a shift, stall your bike or forget to put the sidestand up when other riders are watching.
21. When adding an accessory to your bike, rarely will it install as easily or work as seamlessly as advertised.
22. You will always have at least one close call whenever you decide it's too hot or too inconvenient for riding gear.
23. You will forget motel rooms, you will remember campsites.
24. When you stop for a sandwich, you'll always sit where you can see your bike.
25. Drivers in turn-only lanes have a habit of choosing other options.
26. You will only remember your ear plugs after your helmet is strapped on.
27. Your gloves/boots/ear plugs/phone/keys will always be in the last place you look.
28. Your panniers will never be quite big enough, nor will your garage.
29. Tires will never last as long as you think they should.
30. The number one motorcycle accessory is a cell phone.
31. When Brian and Shira invite you on a ride, GO!!
32. The only way to ensure you stay dry and warm when you ride is to have a really big garage.
33. It is easier to replace a jacket than get a skin graft.
34. Always wave at kids in the car next to you.
35. Even if you have the Right of Way, don’t take it.
36. Go around that puddle.
37. That Edelweiss tour? If not now, when?
38. Get off the Interstate.

Even More Thruth-y-ness!

By Ron Davis #111820

December 2021 BMW Owners News magazine

• "Always wave at kids in the car next to you."
• "Even if you have the Right of Way, don't take it."
• "Go around that puddle."
• "Get off the Interstate."

• "No one has ever removed and then re-installed fairings and all the other plastic bits without discovering a bolt or screw left over."
• "Buy a Retractable Claw Retriever Stick because that bolt you JUST removed/tried to install will fall into the tiniest space possible, unreached by human hands."
• "No matter how much you plan your trip in detail, look at the weather forecast for the day; when you finish your day it will be different than you thought ... But that is the GOOD part of riding."
• "Its easier to replace a jacket than get a skin graft."
• "The only way to ensure you stay dry and warm when you ride is to have a really big garage."

• "That noise coming from the engine is the sound of $2500 changing hands at the closest dealer."
• "A $400 microchip will gladly sacrifice its life for a $2 fuse."
• "That woman you met in the bar last night - the one who loves motorcycles? - loves all of them except yours."
• "The glue in your tire patch kit is inversely viscous to the distance you are from an auto parts store."
• "The best flat prevention is carrying a CyclePump and an EZAir Tire Gauge for 15 years."
• "That state-of-the-art tent you bought 15 years ago will dissolve like an Alka Seltzer tablet in a light mist the first time you talk a date into spending the night with you."

Motorcycle Learnings